Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

How do people break a narcissist man's ego?

And the sadness?

It’s still here.

I had run out of hope.

Candace Cameron Bure, 49, Flaunts Ultra-Toned Body in Bikini - AOL.com

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

I was tired of trying and failing.

Market's Slide Broadens in Afternoon Trading - Barron's

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

I was tired of fighting.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Connor Zilisch and crew chief Dale Earnhardt Jr. win Pocono NASCAR Xfinity race - Motorsport.com

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Be who you already are.

Where the Stock Market Stands Now After a Wild Start to the Year - Bloomberg.com

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

Est ad incidunt reiciendis ut aut.

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Can the right person make a narc want to change their ways? Is love that powerful? Has anyone seen this or experience it?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

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In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

The sadness was still there.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

I keep hitting my front tooth with my glass while bringing it to my mouth unintentionally and the nerve in the tooth keeps pulsating. Does hitting the tooth like this cause damage enough that I could lose the tooth?

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

You are like me, then.